Now I know how Buffy felt in that episode where she thought reality was the crazy AU (AND WAS IT).

[clo_again]

Earlier, I started a post with "Ow ow ow. Badfic is bad."

Several hours and side trips to eat dinner, reread bits of My Friend Flicka* and annoy Casper, I'm on chapter twelve.

...They're long chapters.

I'm so ashamed. It has an OCC and it's a girl and Paul McDermott declares he wants to have her babies.

Yes, really. Chapter twelve.

Please don't unfriend me. You have every right to but please don't; I need people to cling to when the realisation hits that my life is over and pretty soon I'll be reduced to leaving reviews on the Pit of Voles saying "OMG this is liek teh bestest! Plz post more!!!! And plz review my AWESOME DAAS FIC BECAUSE YOU ARE AWESOME LOL!!!!!eleventy!!"

...That actually hurt. Maybe I'm not a lost cause.

I will be unless someone stops me reading though. This fucker has FORTY-FOUR CHAPTERS. SOMEONE CALL THE FIC POLICE ON ME NOW. HELP.

(I can't believe I'm wasting my now-precious freetime on this. Oh god. I need someone here to take the laptop off me. This is a cry for help flisters. TELL ME TO STOP. BADFIC WILL ONLY HURT ME IN THE END.

Except, fuck me, it actually has some lines that're funny. Just enough that when I want to close the window and scream and throw Harry II across the room, I actually laugh and forget it's awful.

I'm a lost cause. 'scuse me; I need to go cry somewhere. Preferably somewhere without internet access.)



*I sorted my kids books out, remember. I'd forgotten how much that series gives even my thoughts a soft American drawl.


edit the pathetic: Oh my god she just referenced an article from The Forgetting of Wisdom. And I only know that because I was reading it yesterday. How can someone who can drop in sneaky references to a celebrity's obscure out of print book write forty-four chapters for self-insertion Mary Sueage?

Yes, it's over an hour later and I'm still reading. None of you jumped in to dissuade me from this casual disregard for my sanity. I hate you all.*


*Not really. I'm still hoping someone can drag me away from this before I actually lose sleep to it.

Comments

[jesse-kips.livejournal.com]

I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE!

I also sometimes get drawn into Badfic for the lulz. I have read so much crazy HP that is godawful, but just what I fancied.

I'm not proud of it, just thought you may want to know that you are not alone.

ALSO! Be proud of yourself. On Saturday I'm meeting a pal in London, and that will make it the second time I have dragged someone to Crazy Cakes, just so I can have one of the delicious muffins. You have created an addict :D

[clo.livejournal.com]

I AM NOT ALONE! And you also have a degree in it (writing, not badfic. We should totally be able to study for a degree in badfic; the stick figures in seminars would be awesome) so we are equally qualified to know better. :)

YAY! My deliciously bad influence works! :DDD Considering you made me buy a book when I had no money, I feel it's a just revenge. ;-) Also that means we can go back next time I'm in London! (Not 'til November. :( Sadness.)

[jesse-kips.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And yes, we can read it whilst knowing much better together. George Green must never know!! (And omg, the stick figures would be super powerful and have sparkly eyes and magical clothes and multicoloured hair hahahaha! I decree this must happen!)

Haha, I suppose it is a fair deal when you put it like that. But I'm heading back up North at the end of Aug, so I won't be here in November D: You'll just have to buy me a cupcake and then we can meet up in Lancs or something :DDD

[redfiona99.livejournal.com]

There's no rescuing you now. Even if we did, you'd spend the night wondering how it ended.

[clo.livejournal.com]

I wanted to deny this so much but you're so right. (And I did wonder because I only got to chapter 34 before I had to sleep. But I finished it the next night!

...That probably didn't deserve the exclamation mark.)

[mayakittenreads]

I would spank you but I actually occaisionally write bad Mary Sueage on occaision. On one Forum. For the F1 fandom. Um. :P

Of course I write it with my tongue firmly in my cheek. ;)

[clo.livejournal.com]

So do I. But I don't post it. And should not admit it. *shame*

This was so not tongue-in-cheek and I woed but it had Paul and was actually somewhat funny and oh, I wish someone would write Paul/Tim with dialogue that good. It would've been good if it hadn't been a Sue which is the worst thing. It was just good enough that I couldn't stop.

[renne.livejournal.com]

Oh, the Forgetting of Wisdom. I have that. Somewhere.

[clo.livejournal.com]

Well if you ever want to make some money and can part with it, it's selling on Amazon UK for almost £200. :) I'm quite attached to my copy though. It's very happy-making to sit back and watch Paul McDermott rage on the world at large.

[renne.livejournal.com]

...INTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRESTING. I like money. And I'm probably never going to read it again. Hmmm. I shall have to think about this!

[dukedee.livejournal.com]

"SOMEONE CALL THE FIC POLICE ON ME NOW."

I did, but they said for some reason due to the recession, there is currently a shortage of white coats in the country and without them they couldn't come round. Sorry.

X-P

[clo.livejournal.com]

*giggles* At least you tried! Tis much appreciated. 'Spose it must be tricky to keep all that white clean when everyone's trying to save money; washing powder's not cheap after all. ^_^