clo_again: (monkton - where are we going)
I am supposedly a tennis fan but it took a throwaway comment on a tennis blog for me to find out that Andy Murray had shingles back in February. Thanks, endless rounds of news coverage, professional tennis commentary, and tweets about tennis I've seen/heard since then. That kind of information is useful when one oh, is writing RPF about the personage in question.

It also makes me feel better about his generally appalling level of play this year, because the consensus seems to be that he made himself ill through overwork, overtraining, and stress, all of which is fixable (I've concluded that my six-week-long tussle with bronchitis that absolutely floored me for all of January 2016 was the cumulative effect of doing a full-time Masters for a year while working sixteen hours a week, then starting a new full-time job immediately after handing my dissertation in and working flat out until I inevitably keeled over three months later. I made it worse by pretending I wasn't ill and it briefly resurfaced two months later and the only thing that fixed it was taking some time to chill). Murray's played solid for the last three or four months of last year, trained solid for five weeks over Christmas, then made himself ill and tried to keep playing despite his body going WHAT ARE YOU DOING PUT DOWN THE RACQUET OR WE WILL CATCH SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOUR FINGERS FALL OFF.

Which is of course terribly frustrating and concerning for him, but works great for fic. Thanks for being an idiot, Muzz. Now maybe take a vacation.


Talking of writing, the thing I'm writing now (which is not the thing I am supposed to be writing, other than this blog post which I am extra not supposed to be writing instead of fic) is a bit strange, and sad, and I keep reading bits and wondering why I'm writing something that I find so disconcerting.

I was trying to write down a scene last night in bed and I kept falling asleep mid-sentence and waking myself up when my iPod hit me in the face, at which point I kept writing until I fell asleep again. In the end I had to summarise how the scene ended and give up. I don't even know if it's any good, or if I'm good enough to write it* but I want it written to get the disconcerting sadness out of my head and onto the paper- er, virtual paper.

* It's really hard on the internet to differentiate between honestly not feeling very good at something but believing the endless peppy tumblr posts about 'everyone feels like this! You're great!', and actually knowing something isn't very good. I wish I could win the lottery and go sit in a quiet empty house for six months to write without having to worry about going to work and being a functional human being and having to wear something that isn't pyjamas so I couldn't procrastinate out of just writing without it mattering, until I feel like I know what I'm doing.

Yesterday in work, the new interim manager told me that being smarter than ninety-five percent of the population was something I'd have to learn how to deal with and I immediately felt under incredible pressure to maintain my appearance of being smart at all times, because clearly I had somehow fooled him and apparently all the other managers into believing I was super capable. I do not understand how I give this impression when I spend some percentage of a work day playing Pokemon Go or, like today, wheat googling Serbian prison systems and Andy's Murray's medical conditions for fic. If that counts as super capable, what is everyone else doing?

I really should stop procrastinating by worrying about writing and just go write something.
clo_again: (Propeller - Screweth thou)
I can't tell if I'm genuinely tired or if my brain is just procrastinating about keeping my eyelids open. Self, finish writing this thing. I've wanted to do it all day and now I'm finally home from work, I'm too tired. There appears to be a design flaw in this thing called adulting.
clo_again: (emilia - aimless)
I really need to get back in the habit of doing this. I mean, I'm procrastinating from writing to do this but when did I ever post to LJ when I wasn't procrastinating from writing? (tip: I was always procrastinating from writing).

I mean, writing is going pretty well at the moment. For me, anyway; I've posted something within the last week which is a rare enough occurrence to rate as 'pretty well', and the thing I wrote when I had writer's block on the other thing is 2k plus and climbing, so I figure I'll get that done pretty soon before I work on the next chapter of before you come to evening. And I reread 10k of reaction-fic I wrote after Novak lost Wimbledon last year, which I'd relegated to my Dead Letter Box folder (for fic I have no intention of finishing) because I hated it and thought it was boring, but today I enjoyed it and was sad to hit the end of what I'd written, and frustrated. What were you thinking past self? I don't understand; you were on a roll. Quit quitting stuff.

I don't know if I'll finish it. Elements of it surfaced in the coming of the fall which I wrote a couple of months after, but all the set-up is done; the sticking point is that the scene I didn't write was The Scene That Was the Entire Point and Reason which are always the worst. But this one had snuggling. Maybe when Wimbledon rolls around again I'll be reinspired, or I'll post it undone over at [personal profile] clofic maybe, or maybe it'll be my writer's block fic for the next chapter of before. I guess [personal profile] clofic is going to be my work-in-progress dump over here, since all finished stuff is now going on AO3. If you want free snippets, or wips, or fic fanmixes or whatever, follow over there.

The other weird thought that occurred after rereading the Wimbledon Reject Fic; I've spent almost ten months now musing on The Fall of Novak Djokovic in one way or another, and I'm still no closer to having a grip on it or why I care. I've never liked Novak the way I like Roger, or Roddick or Muzz, not in the simple and uncomplicated way of wanting them to win everything they touch and being happy when they do. Novak's disingenuous and desperate for attention; I never quite believe him when he says the sky is blue and grass is green (like when he falls and hurts himself only to win the match, when he says he's injured, when he says he isn't, when he says he's fine when he's clearly losing weight, about to burst into genuine pained tears in the US Open final, when he falls and hits his head so hard in Qatar that Muzz came across the court to check on him), but I'm so used to resenting him for beating Roger and begging for attention and being gloriously untouchable, having him broken and off-colour is disconcerting. I know what I think happened after the French last year but Becker's gone and Jelena's pregnant again because we all know having a second kid when things are miserable is a surefire way to fix life's problems (except for all the ways it isn't) and Novak's still this weird echo of himself.

I don't like worrying about goddamn Novak Djokovic but apparently I am, anyway.

At least Roger is back on glorious GOAT form this year and is doing me a solid by skipping the clay season which I can never watch because it's on when I'm in work. Work is a whole 'nother kettle of fish (mostly not awful, but complicated).

The housing situation is at the opposite end of the extreme and is all kinds of ongoing disaster but I've procrastinated all my time away and anyway, there's not much I can say about it that isn't a complaint. Basically it's stressful and come June (our contract here ends July 3rd) I'm going to be a lot less chill about it than I am right now. Get back to me in a month.
clo_again: (monkton - where are we going)
Given LJ's latest shenanigans, I've officially privated everything over there (all the entries and comments were already backed up here anyway), deleted all but a few boring or essential photographs from the LJ Scrapbook, and when [personal profile] clofic finishes importing here, I'll be deleting that from LJ. I don't really know what to do about my LJ memories. There's so many, and so many fic recs, but I'm so tired of backing stuff up.

Dude, I miss opening up my LJ flist in the morning and finding new fic. Emails from AO3 are well and good but there was something about stumbling across a new chapter three posts into your flist and reading it with LJ formatting and cut tags.

ANYWAY. Hopefully this was the final boot everyone needed to move to Dreamwidth and there'll be allll the fic. Or at least you know, activity over here.

I've had an LJ since 2002. This is so weird.
clo_again: (monkton - where are we going)
Really gotta start working on posting regularly again, rather than meandering on Twitter for aimless hours. All the shenanigans LJ's pulled with the new TOS are finally giving me the impetus to boot it and move operations over here (or er, restart them over here since they've fallen off the Procrastination Cliff of late).

I don't know if I can bring myself to delete all the posts over there, even when they're backed up here; I certainly can't make myself delete the entire journal. For one, that's over a decade of my history. For two, I still use the Scrapbook because it's easier than sourcing image space anywhere else. Once LJ goes down for good (because let's face it; this kerfuffle is causing a final exodus that can't end well) then I guess I'll need to look into it but until then I'm thinking maybe I'll just private everything except a post directing traffic this way.

I guess I'll need to shift clofic over here as well. All the fic is backed up at Insanejournal (still don't think it's worth the editing it'd need for AO3) but I'd like to hang onto the comments. I should really get moving on that this weekend before LJ shut down the ability for external sites to import stuff which is what I saw predicted on one analysis of the new TOS.

As much as LJ's been the internet equivalent of a sad oldtimer dive bar for years now, I regret not owning any LJ merchandise from back in the day. This thing ran my life for eight-to-ten years; at the very least I'd like a hoodie. Hell, a keyring. I saw a Nirvana t-shirt in Topshop yesterday and for a minute it felt as if I was fourteen again. I wonder if retro LJ merchandise - or Frank the Goat merchandise to be Ultimate Hipster about it - will ever circle back to coolness? I hope so, especially if we can do it without giving actual Russia-owned-modern-LJ a penny for it.

So I don't know; maybe I'll be around more while I shift things over here, curse trying to set up a new DW for clofic, etc. In between those fun things, I'll be attempting to finish the latest fic I posted to AO3 because I thought it'd be a good idea to post another WiP as a motivational move. The jury is out on whether or not this was a spectacularly terrible idea yet, mostly because I had the first two and a half chapters written already so it hasn't become an issue yet (it will. I'm working on it though!).

It's the hooker!Andy Murray fic, because LJ may be circling the drain but some things never change. You can find the first two chapters over on AO3: before you come to evening, e, Murray/Djokovic AU, the one where Andy ended up a prostitute instead of a tennis player through a series of accidents and bad decisions, and Novak's mostly trying not to screw up his life.


Life stuff is also happening but it's of the tiresome, housing-is-stressful-and-I-have-not-yet-won-the-lottery-to-sort-it kind, so it can wait until I'm not half asleep and well past a sensible you're-in-work-tomorrow bedtime for someone who's trying to pretend to be an adult. It's fine; I'm not living in a box under the canal bridge yet so hopefully we can take that as an optimistic sign.
clo_again: (pigs might fly)
I had such great plans for the last ten days that I've spent mostly vegged in pyjamas, eating Christmas chocolate. I was going to record everything I want to keep off my Sky box before I move! (I haven't). I was going to sort my wardrobe out before I move! (I've thrown one bin bag of clothes with holes in away, all from my washing basket). I was going to write all the things! (I've written 6.6k of Rogue One fic, mostly from words I'd already handwritten before Christmas).

The writing thing is really the saddest lack of achievement for me because I'm still circling the pit of sadness from R1 and I want fix-it fic, but I don't want to read any until this one I'm writing is done because I don't know enough about the SW verse to always spot what's actual canon background and what's made up, and I'm not risking writing anything in by accident. So basically I'm stuck re-reading the same paragraphs I've written over and over, and on no less than four occasions this holiday I have considered setting them (metaphorically, because I love my laptop) on fire because it all just seems like a bunch of wrong words.

I find writing generally a slog anyway and Star Wars is extra hard, because it's so important that you don't want to Get It Wrong - and then you Google things like 'why are there no AI spaceships in Star Wars?' and get fandom doing a giant collective shrug of 'eh, whatevs' which is reassuring. But also - so does no one care? Does everyone just Not Do That Thing? HOW DOES THIS EVEN WORK. Sometimes it feels like I'm being influenced by the over-arcing attitude of the internet these days being You're Doing It Wrong and I need to remember that the thing can always be fixed as long as there's some thing written down to fix in the first place.

I also keep reminding myself of Neil Gaiman's comment saying that writing always feels like working in a mine and most days you've just got to keep chipping away. Keep flailing that metaphorical pickaxe, self.


In other news, as my last movie of a holiday season filled with movies, I watched The Book of Life. There were many, varied, meaningful, and worthy reasons for this decision, and if anyone mentions the fact that Diego Luna sings in it as a potential factor I'll deny forever knowing what you're talking about. Anyway it's beautiful and pretty funny and all about Mexican myths of the lands of the dead, and part of me is like, that would be so interesting to crossover with R1 -- except that would take such a tremendous amount of research that even the thought of it makes me want to cry.

So, hopefully someone more dedicated than me will write that. I can only swing one (okay, maybe two, three if I use my teeth) pickaxes at the same time.


Life news: we're signing on the new house to rent tomorrow. It's going to cut almost two hours out of my commute each day. My bedroom has a balcony (which I'm trading for my current ensuite, sad but necessary). I'm trying not to be too excited until we actually have the keys in hand (I first looked at a potential house for us to rent last February and it was a long year of disappointments).

But signs currently point to Actually Getting The Keys tomorrow on this one. Crossing everything.
clo_again: (tennant - keep calm and drink tea)
We're almost to 2017 everyone! Hang in there!

In the meantime, Merry Christmas/Blessed Yule and Io Saturnalia/happy holidays etc etc. I've spent most of mine attempting to write Rogue One fic without putting too many feet wrong in the thousands of years of history that is the SW universe. It's something that's involved much shouting at Wookieepedia, but also muttering fervent thanks to all the fans who have anticipated questions such as 'Do spaceships in Star Wars run on fuel?' and have kindly written entire essays describing what kinds of fuel, where it's made, who makes it, and who invented it in the first place.

It's really rather impressive. I don't think our actual history is documented this well.

As another note, there's been plenty of stirrings lately about LJ moving their servers to Russia and what this might mean. On top of that, I've seen comments and entries about people having technical issues (such as including links in posts, viewing their friends page etc) and I hit a few myself with the app refusing to load for a few days, the featured posts not loading etc.

All of it adds up to something of a worry that one day soon in a galaxy not so far away, LJ might wink out and that'll be it.

I do have backups - I know where else to find most of you (those who're still here) in the case of catastrophic LJ collapse - but the InsaneJournal I'd backed my posts up to a few years ago was deleted for inactivity and I've rambled occasionally since then anyway, so I've backed everything up on Dreamwidth (clo_again, since some damn person created Clo over on DW in 2009 and has NEVER UPDATED. No, I'm never going to quit being bitter about this).

So just fyi - in the case of the LJ apocalypse or just the general apocalypse given the way the world is going, you'll be able to find me here DW at clo_again, or from my profile here to other social media/AO3, for as long as the lights stay on.

I don't really know what to do with LJ - people are deleting/purging because hey, Russia, but this is a lot of history and I don't know if that's an overreaction. I'm more concerned about the fic, but that's all backed up over on Insanejournal anyway.

I'm so ready for 2016 to be over, y'all. It's been a hell of a year.
clo_again: (Andy - Laugh)
Because I realised I hadn't crossposted, and because it's lunchtime and I'm stuck in the super-quiet library at work, going to try this from my iPod. (Brace positions everyone; hopefully I won't break the Internet)

So I finished another fic! Two is coincidence; if I can make it three, that's a trend. We'll see. This one came about partly because I was mad at Novak getting so many walkovers at the US Open, and then during the final he basically broke all his toes (okay, he lost a toenail) and when he made this face ) just from TAKING HIS SOCK OFF, I felt guilty for being annoyed and hurt/comfort was the only appropriate response. (I only like Novak for about three minutes on the third Friday of every month with a blue moon; I have no idea why I can't stop writing this pairing. Roger needs to get back to the tour so business as usual can resume).


the coming of the fall, Novak Djokovic/Andy Murray, G, 7775 words.

Summary: 'Novak's summer started terribly. It didn't get any better after that. But summer's just a season and the only way to go is up.'

I'm pretty fond of this one, partly because I made myself go "awwww" at one point which is vaguely shameful when it's your own fic, and partly because getting to write Judy Murray into something was so fun. I'm inordinately fond of Judy Murray these days; she's funny, and sarcastic, and I don't think she'd hesitate to give anyone who deserved it a clip behind the ear. She might show up in a future thing too. If I can make that finishing-things trend pan out.

LJ feels like it's been a little busier lately which is lovely. I hope it continues (and that my bodged HTML in this post doesn't break the Internet after all).
clo_again: (Roger/Mirka - So Hail to the King)
I was just reading (read: procrastinating from writing) Versaphile's post about importing old fic to AO3:

I'm massively anti-deleting fanfic - I feel that once something has been released to run wild on the internet, you have no idea really who's read it or what impact that had on them, even if it's yours, even if it has your name on it; once it's posted, it should stay available somewhere forever. On the flipside, I've always been firmly set on not importing my old fic to AO3 because most of it I feel needs more editing than I'm happy doing, or was written when I still had no clue what I was doing other than bashing out words in a vague succession of sense, or is frankly (imho) terrible. All my old stuff is sitting around on [ profile] clofic or in a much neater indexed collection on Insanejournal and that's fine. It isn't as if I'm locking it in a drawer; if anyone wants it, my username is the same everywhere.

But then- reading Versaphile talk about archiving fandom history and how important it is made me think that's irresponsible. Likewise the level of outrage I went through listening to a podcast discussing tennis slash last year, with a panel of four tennis ficcers who flat out stated that tennis slash "started around 2007 with Nadal/Federer" (hahahahaha I guess we all hallucinated all that Roddick/Federer fic that happened 2004-onwards, or that there was at least one person writing Roddick/Ferrero before that which no longer exists because the original tennis fic comm got deleted) implies that maybe fandom history is already getting fuzzy. Like all the teenies on tumblr who keep LOLing at oldtimers for including disclaimers on fic and then can't believe it when the oldtimers turn around and tell them The Epic Saga of Anne Rice's Lawyers.

So I don't know. Maybe I should see how much editing some of the longer things would need so I can post them with only moderate-to-crippling shame.


(Also, HEY, HEY I'M STILL HERE, HAI LJ. It's my fourteenth LJ anniversay on October 8th. Every year I say I should do something and every year I wake up in November and go "...ah shit, maybe next year.")
clo_again: (Andy - Laugh)
But at the moment I'm inordinately delighted with myself for finishing anything! (even if it's taken me months to get past starting new things to actually finishing one of them):

as we fly south - tennis rpf, Andy Murray/Novak Djokovic, rated E. Olympic bet fic, 7,688 words.

Andy’s wanted this forever, so long his earliest memories of it are blurred, foxed at the edges with the careful wear of age. He still can’t quite believe it’s been his this week, the right to drive Novak to the edge of coherence and watch him fall apart; it's as much a prize as any trophy, as the medal wrapped snug in its ribbon in his hoodie pocket.

I realised halfway through it that the last Olympic fic I wrote was a. twelve years ago and b. also a bet fic. I don't even know how to feel about the fact that I'm an ancient fan girl rewriting the same tropes. 'Proud' is an option. So is 'mortified'.


But in 'moving on' steps, I created an Imzy! After a brief panic that someone would've taken 'Clo' already (looking at you, Dreamwidth) I got it and it's fine, nobody panic. I have no idea what I'm doing over there but I have a few free invites if anyone wants one.

I'm located at I guess? I'm still not entirely sure how this community mlarky works but it's an interesting interface that's both tumblr and Livejournal combined, and there's comments (hurrah!) so this could be the next step? I'm interested to see where it goes.
clo_again: (Pigs Might Fly)
I'm afraid I've got terribly addicted to Pokemon Go, even though my Windows phone tried to protect me by being too rubbish to install it. Instead it's on my iPod which needs a wifi connection to play and, occasionally at weekends when I can borrow it, my mother's phone. So far I've resisted dropping £120 on a new phone JUST TO PLAY POKEMON GO. (I've still made it to level fifteen and caught 51 Pokemon. This either proves there's a flaw in the game's 'you must walk around to catch stuff' directive, or that where I work was incredibly foolish to install free unlimited wifi).

Today I finally saw a Pikachu silhouette when I was wandering around the local park. While walking around trying to find it, in an incredibly weird meta moment, a kid holding an actual oversized Pikachu plush ran past me.

It's possible I was hallucinating. I probably need to stop playing this game.
clo_again: (Andy/Roger - Pieces)
Man, having one of those days where I feel like I'm writing into the void and getting words down is like trying to claw them into a tree trunk with my teeth.
clo_again: (Roger/Mirka - So Hail to the King)
Roger just lost at Wimbledon so, in the traditions of the last twelve years, I'm sulking on LJ. Hurrah and yay and all that muchness.

(Roger, you had so many break points. You bloody sodding moron.)

Anyway, in addition to now getting entirely soused on Pimms because of idiot Swiss tennis players, I saw this on Twitter today about Russia's bugfuck crazy data laws affecting LJ and wondered sadly if it would be LJ's final straw. I mean, my flist is mostly a wasteland these days (not helped by my useless lack of posts) and I hang out mostly on Twitter (find me at @aomaakutu) but I don't want LJ to disappear entirely. It feels like it should stand forever as an archive to the early-ish days of fandom and online social networking and also, I have a lot of fic (all the old stuff of which is reposted over at Insanejournal, with apologies for how terrible it is) and nonsense and old conversations from over a decade of fandom sitting on here. I don't want that to disappear. AO3 is great and Twitter is great and tumblr is basically a disaster that hasn't got the sense to fall over under the weight of its own nonsense, and none of it does what LJ did. But if LJ does go, look me up on Twitter (@aomaakutu), or AO3 (clo) or Insanejournal (clofic) whatever. Maybe one day fandom will swing back around to blogging again. Then I can yell at people drunkenly about Roger being an idiot in more than 140 characters (which are nowhere near adequate to express my righteous indignation tbh).

Anyway! While LJ is still here and kicking, maybe I should actually use it for something? Idk, I hit a massive writer's block back in February and it took me forever to get over it so I started writing whatever got me writing anything again and it's left me with a bunch of weird WiPs, one of which is 30k and counting. As I'm a little drunk and a lot annoyed, how about some snippets of things that may, or may not, ever be finished? Why not? Snippets for everyone! (er, or everyone who likes tennis fic snippets since I have yet to find another fandom after twelve years. Never let it be said that I don't drag things out to the bitter end).

tennis fic wips snippets )

I wonder if I'll ever forget LJ html. Weird.

Because I'm me, the next thing I really want to write isn't any of these but I only have it outlined rather than written and it's in that weird stage of being thought-perfect before I have to try and wrestle it into words. I like it though. If I can keep writing despite being back in work on Monday, it might even get snippeted, or maybe it'll just get posted. I don't think it'll be that. Except, I always say that and 50k later it's still half finished.

I can't believe Roger lost. What an idiot.
clo_again: (Andy/Roger - Pieces)
I'm supposed to be writing but instead I'm coughing with the Hideous Cold of Doom and trawling tumblr, so have a stolen-from-tumblr meme to get me back in the mood.

Rules: go to page 7 of your WIP*, skip to the 7th line, share 7 sentences, and tag 7 more writers to continue the challenge.

There's going to have to be a few mods, because I have at least three (four? five?) what might be classed as wips at the moment, and I don't think there's 7 writers left around LJ to challenge. So instead, have the seven-sentences-from-the-seventh-line of what I'm currently writing:

lines )

Things I have learned from this exercise; I run my sentences on way too long. Also, I have too many WiPs. These are only the ones I have typed and actually started, although the last one needs major rewrites so that won't be the seven sentences after the seventh forever. Still.

Life continues on. I've caught the Dreaded Lurgy this week but motored through it by going to work, which led to me sitting at my desk wrapped in my scarf like a blanket yesterday and croaking when anyone asked me a question. I'm feeling somewhat better tonight but I thought I was feeling better Wednesday night, and Thursday night, and then I felt like death from 4am Friday onwards, so I'm not getting my hopes up just yet.

Otherwise, everything is fine. New Job is still fine, although I have to organise an inspection for something I'm responsible for in March, and the previous job's incumbent left only scrappy notes on what she'd done towards the action plan for it, so that'll be fun. I keep thinking I should know everything because that's how everyone acts and then I realise I've only been doing the job for barely four months and I've got shit done in that time. It'll be fine. *touch wood*

In conclusion: still aten't ded, despite the best efforts of the common cold. I should be writing but I'm avoiding it. Nothing particularly exciting is going on right now. Except The Voice is back tonight so I get Ricky Wilson's face on the tellybox again for a bit, yay.

So, you know. As you were.

*I somehow completely missed that I was supposed to do this from page seven and not just the seventh line, and now I'm too lazy to redo it. So. Whatevs.
clo_again: (Roger/Mirka - So Hail to the King)
you and me (we are one and the same) - Tennis RPF, Andy Murray/Novak Djokovic, rated M. Vampire AU. 8,275 words.

“I am fine,” Novak says immediately, as if he isn't obviously being held upright by the wall alone, as if he doesn't look like he just got served up as dinner for a pack of wolves. His voice still rasps a little. “Andy, it is okay. I need just a moment and I will leave, it is not so bad as it looks.”

It takes a second for Andy to find his voice, a second more to breathe through the rising edge of panic he'd tried so hard to leave behind in Australia. “It looks pretty bad,” he says and has to pause to swallow when his tone pitches too far into shrill. “What the hell happened?”

Or, the one where Novak is a vampire and Andy should really know better by now.


Yes, I finished the vampire!Novak fic I started about five years ago because it's not as if I have plenty of other things to write right now. Oh wait, no. Scratch that. Reverse it.

Wow, LJ is running really slow for me right now; typing is taking a good five seconds or so to catch up. Unless those million updates Windows installed have done something which would be pretty annoying.

Life continues to be fair, y'all. Not won the lottery yet but soldiering on. About to embark on a serious Lie to Me marathon so, I'll let you know how that goes.
clo_again: (Roger/Mirka - So Hail to the King)
I did it again, ya'll.

whiskey sour - loss as an art form 0.2, tennis rpf, Andy Roddick/Roger Federer, explicit, 16,032 words. The morning after the night before, and all the uncomfortable consequences.

This one was so hard to get though, so I'm relieved I wrote the damn thing and now I can go write something less consequence-filled for a while.
clo_again: (Roger/Mirka - So Hail to the King)
Um. So there was a Wimbledon final at the weekend which involved Roger Federer. And had Andy Roddick commentating - or in truth, talking non-stop for five days about how amazing Roger is and how great he is and how he only copes with being asked about 2009 because he has so much respect for Roger and even though it's been a million years since I wrote anything actually postable in tennis fic, I did a thing. Like, drink too much Pimms and bash angrily at my keyboard while Roger lost, and then spend two days spamming [ profile] kindoftrouble with emails going DOES THIS MAKE SENSE HOW CAN I MAKE MY DRUNKEN RAMBLINGS MAKE SENSE WHY DO I LOVE TENNIS PLAYERS WHEN THEY DO STUPID THINGS LIKE LOSING, ARGH.

In short, have fic. It's even go about 21% plot going on behind the PWP. Sort of. This is mostly the angry-that-he-lost bit; if I get the sequel, and the prequel, and the sequel-sequel done, there might be actual plot. Plus the other thing I'm about half-way through that isn't even in this series. Because apparently I'm writing tennis RPF again, god.

beautiful and drunk (singing softly to yourself)
- Andy Roddick/Roger Federer, explicit, 6093 words post-Wimbledon 2015 final, drunken hurt-comfort sex and Andy pining when he should know better.

I er, was about 50-80% Pimms at various times when I wrote it, so hopefully the editing-bashing means it at least vaguely makes sense.

Posting on AO3 is amazingly more nerve-wracking than here or the Pit of Voles. I'm going to go have a little sit down now.
clo_again: (Maneki Neko - Year of the Cow)
Hello! I am still around and still reading! Unfortunately I'm cursed with the timesuck that is known as Having A Mindless Job to Earn Money So I Can Have A Life, which incidentally means I have no life. I'm not quite sure how humanity has worked out this equation, other than humanity is bloody stupid quite a lot of the time. I think we need to return this real life thing as faulty and get a refund.

Anyway, I would love to make this a proper LJ post - and planned to - but it's not 11:28pm and I have to be asleep in the next twenty or so minutes because I get up at 6:30am (seriously, faulty) so I can't talk about how much I loved Rush which I saw on Tuesday, or how excited I am that two of my favourite Propeller actors are in their tour of Midsummer Night's Dream/Comedy of Errors next year, or how I feel about the Agents of SHIELDpilot ('flawed but fun') or Tamora Pierce's new book Battle Magic ('fun but flawed'). Because I am here with glorious purpose! Namely, [ profile] make_a_move asked for Harvey/Mike (Suits) recs.

We haven't had season 3 of Suits over here yet, but I've recently been rewatching my favourite episodes from season 2 and my god, this show is amazing when it really hits the right note. I'm not so fond of the second half of s2 but the first ten episodes were great. So, I have LOTS OF RECS.

The major ones are linked over on my AO3 account (no, there's no fic of mine there yet because I don't like any of my old fic enough to transfer it there; maybe someday there'll be new fic and then it'll be there) under Bookmarks. Of those I particularly recommend:

Here at the end of all things by tattooedsiren, post-apocalypse AU, rated: explicit, a really amazing look at Harvey and Mike's relationship dropped into the background of the world essentially ending, and their coping strategies and slow admittance of their mutual co-dependence on each other. A little bit depressing - there's non-explicit implied death of major characters, violence and everything you'd expect from humanity at the end of the world, but the handling of the Harvey/Mike is just beautiful.

5U175 by Closer, rated: explicit, the required fandom AU where everything is canon except Harvey is a major BNF and Mike stumbles into him in fandom with neither of them knowing their real identities, and frankly the entire thing is a succession of fandom in-jokes but they're fucking spectacular fandom in-jokes so the entire thing works brilliantly.

After reading that, you should go and read everything else Closer has written too, particularly Imprimateur (soulmates or 'imprints' exist and are recognised by law, Harvey and Mike imprint on each other without realising, fucking spectacular world-building) and the Pizza verse (Mike is Harvey's genius pizza delivery boy because he never became Harvey's associate, trust me this may be one of the best fic series I've ever read for the movie quotes alone and the way it handles giving the same events from Mike, Harvey's and Donna's POVs).

And a couple not linked on my AO3 because I'm too lazy to bookmark everything:

Trust Graded on a Curve by BlackEyedGirl, rated: T, Harvey fumbling awkwardly through the responsibilities of having an associate because he's a bit emotionally stunted sometimes and Mike trying not to disappoint him.

Excerpts From The Gospel of Harvey Specter, edited by Michael "Forever Awesome" Ross, 2011, 1st Ed. by RC_McLachlan, rated: t, and just all kinds of fabulous really.


I thought I had more than that, huh. Think I've fallen behind on any new stuff given that we're half a season behind now, so any recs from s2 onwards are much appreciated! (I've already spoiled myself so have at it; the fun of Suits is watching the characters interact, not the plots) .

Then to top off all that slash, go listen to the commentary on one of the s1 episodes (I can't remember which one - maybe the finale or the pilot?) where Gabriel Macht and Patrick Adams discuss the slash. It's weird. It's kind of awesome.

I wanted to end this with the screencap of someone tweeting Patrick with "When are Harvey and Mike gonna sleep together?" and his reply of "According to the internet, they already are" but I've been through like forty pages of fucking tumblr and I can't find it, so you'll just have to believe me that it exists.

(It does. It's awesome. Even if the way this cast consistently break all fandom fourth walls and dance on them occasionally makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable because you just know that they are actually reading everything).
clo_again: (Maneki Neko - Year of the Cow)
Hahahaha 'post more often'. Yep. So, moving on!

Hello, I am not yet dead or giving up on LJ or- actually no, everything else is pretty much what you'd expect; work is boring yada yada, life continues much unchanged yada yada...well I suppose that's not technically true. There's been recent work dramallamas in the continuing saga of Why Must Everyone I Work With Be So Relentlessly Stupid and it all kicked off with an official complaint by another admin girl last Monday, but I've had phone conversations since (I was off Wednesday - Friday) that implies it's all sorted and we are in fact in good nick with the management who think we're doing a great job. I guess I'll see tomorrow. The whole stupidity has really crystalised the fact to me that I don't want to work for that place long-term even though I don't mind the job itself, because stupid dramallama stuff that should've been avoided with a little common sense happens all the time. It's reminded me that I need to actually focus on saving money towards an eventual Masters, preferably in Cardiff, so I can flee the place.

This resolution to save started most excellently well as I almost immediately went off on a three-day shopping trip to Cardiff. In justification it's been planned since April, I did actually desperately need new shoes/jeans, and it's like getting it all out of my system before I go cold turkey on spending, right?

(It made more sense when I was using it as an excuse to buy things, really.)

This building never fails to make me happy. <3

The trip was so lovely - I think I definitely needed just to get out of dodge for a few days because I'd been getting more and more stressed with everything at work and actually just leaving the county (and the country, given that I went back to Wales!) was good timing, and I felt better about life, the universe and everything just by the time I got to London Euston.

Yes, I went to Cardiff via London. Yes, there was an excellent reason for this; I arranged the entire trip around going to the Hampstead Theatre to see Propeller (I may have mentioned them before. At length. In the previous post. I really like Propeller) perform their Twelfth Night again. I love the play so much, I couldn't bear the thought of not seeing it again and despite fretting the entire way down that I'd miss it (due to engineering works I had to catch a train to Manchester, wait an hour for my next train to London, then catch a couple of Tubes and find the theatre by 2:00pm) I got there in plenty of time. I did a post about it over in the Propeller comm, so I won't repeat myself but it was wonderful. In the interval I tweeted "My idea of heaven is sitting in a dark theatre and watching Propeller perform this play over and over", and I meant it. If it hadn't finished touring yesterday I'd say to go see it; as it is they're touring Midsummer Night's Dream/Comedy of Errors starting in November and everyone should go see at least one of them. I am. Multiple times. (No, I really am.)

Then, after catch-up sushi and mocking the Tie Rack workers at Paddington station with [ profile] kindoftrouble and A, it was a packed train and then Cardiff. I love Cardiff. I may have mentioned this before. And this time it was mid-week so the shops weren't too busy (apart from flocks of graduates in robes that bizarrely kept congregating everywhere), everywhere had great sales, the weather was hot but not humid at all, and everywhere I went people had Welsh accents (a girl standing behind me in Schuh exclaimed over a pair of Converse "Oh those are lush!"). It was lovely. I shopped all day Thursday, ate down at a packed Cardiff Bay full of people enjoying the sunshine and workmen turning Roald Dahl Plass into a beach, complete with helter-skelter.

It's going to be a beach for all of August, complete with sand, a water play area, and traditional seaside amusements. I wish I could go back to see it because I think it'll be amazing.

I also saw Pacific Rim on Thursday night which was so delightfully, uncompromisingly ridiculous that I loved every second of it. I think it demands a suspension of disbelief from the very first line and how much you enjoy it depends totally on how far you're willing to simply shrug and roll with it, but if you do it rewards you by being a lot of fun. Even if every time someone said 'jaegar', I couldn't stop myself mentally adding 'meister' onto the end.

Friday was more shopping, and gbk and then an endless six hour trip home which definitely increased my stress levels again but an entire weekend of dedication lounging has fixed that. I'm sad that I have to go back to work tomorrow and that I don't have any more time off until October, but Cardiff remains fabulous. I wish I could win the lottery so I could just buy my penthouse flat on the Bay and stay there.


Other Things:

- [ profile] jesse_kips is a rockstar and got us tickets to see Tom Hiddleston in Coriolanus after Christmas. I want to say how awesome this is but I don't think words that awesome have been invented yet. It's entirely possible one or both of us will end up with restraining orders against us but given the general insanity of Hiddleston's fans we'll probably just blend right in.

Incidentally, that'll make it five times that I've been to the theatre this year. That's pretty good. Next year I'm thinking that I'll aim to make it six.

- Andy Murray won Wimbledon! This made me utterly delighted, (especially since they can now stop repeating that awful interview from 2012 when he was crying too much to speak oh my god BBC seriously, STOP SHOWING IT). I wrote 5000 words of post-final Murray/Djokovic in a fit of inspiration that was killed by work stress and shopping. It's so close to being finished, I should actually just suck it up and do it. Argh.

- In general, writing is going- well, I don't want to say 'not well' but 'distinctly average'. Must try harder.

- The sun came out in Britain about two weeks ago and hasn't gone back in yet. Everyone enjoyed it for about a day and then old people started dropping like flies, doctors started screaming about skin cancer and all the salt marshes on my train ride to work have dried up. Dear Britain, the next person to complain about the rain will be taken out and shot, understood?

- Still haven't won the lottery, despite multiple attempts. Sigh.

- I promised to post about Peter and Alice, didn't I. That's not a question. I know I've failed, even though I have it all written down. It was fantastic and made me cry like a baby, and I think that may be as far as I get in forming coherent thoughts. Sorry. :(

- I had another point, and then I thought of Ben Whishaw and promptly forgot it. Er. It probably wasn't important.

- This is probably it for another two months but I do check LJ every day so if you do want to check I haven't fallen off the face of the planet, leave a comment & I will get it & reply. Keep posting. For all its failings, it makes me sad that LJ is slowly dying. I'll miss it if - when - it finally gives up the ghost (plus I've forgotten my Dreamwidth password again. Typical).
clo_again: (monkton - where are we going)
Yeah, so I disappear for four months and my Dreamwidth reading page (FRIENDS LIST. That is never going to stop being odd because I was on LJ for decade and just like, what is this thing called progress idek) ends up full of links to Person of Interest fic. I'm not watching Person of Interest because I failed out after the second episode and about fifteen episodes later make_a_move told me it was insanely good and I should watch it but by then I was so far behind that catching up seemed exhausting. (See also: Ripper Street and The Following. I have them both on my Sky+ but unlike this time last year when I mainlined four episodes of Gilmore Girls a night, marathoning anything lately just seems like an effort. I don't even know how watching TV can be an effort after making it through four+ seasons of Farscape but there you go). I'll probably end up buying it on bluray in about four years when the fandom's dead and everyone's moved onto the next shiny. See: the complete collection of Battlestar Galactica I bought the other week.

So hey, I'm not actually dead or become a nun or developed amnesia; I am still here! Every day I check LJ and sadface at the lack of updates, conveniently forgetting that I've been putting off making a post since New Year. Twitter has really not helped me increase my productivity at all; every thought I have can get instantly shared with the poentially-interested (often not) masses of the internet without requiring much in the way of time or effort and that's it, the incentive to actually write it down is gone. Probably to truly make myself write and blog and catch up on tv, I should delete my Twitter. It'd certainly make me post here more.

I love my Twitter. I can't bring myself to do it.

While I'm on the Twitter topic, if you check out @CloWatch and @JessWatches, me and jesse_kips do a thing most Fridays where we do a synchronised rewatch of a film and tweet about it in real time, and we're hopefully not completely tedious while we do it. :) I keep meaning to find a way to copy the Tweets over to here in one post - there was a thing that did that wasn't there? Automatically? - because I keep wanting to read back and if there's one thing Twitter sucks for, it's reading back old Tweets. We did all the Die Hards (including 5 which cut for ending spoiler )). Think we're doing Avengers this Friday because the answer to 'how many times have you rewatched Avengers?' is never ever 'too many times'. :D

Movies are mostly what I've done since my last post (watched, not made because hahaha imagine being that productive). Life of Pi - not as good as the book but was never going to be, still wonderful - The Hobbit - had its moments but far too many of them were wtf ones - Warm Bodies - surprisingly charming and funny, totally worth watching! - Les Miserables - Anne Hathway was amazing, Hugh Jackman made me cry, Russell Crowe made everyone cry for completely the opposite reason, generally enjoyable. Tomorrow I'm hopefully going to see Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters because there is absolutely no reason not to see a movie with that title AND Jeremy Renner's face, and Oz next week. We're not even discussing the fact that Iron Man 3 is out in April because it's still too far away to get truly excited about yet, but only just.

April's a pretty exciting month actually - jesse_kips and I have tickets to see Propeller, my favourite theatre group ever, do Taming of the Shrew and Twelfth Night on the same day. I've seen them do Shrew and Twelfth before but it was different actors and it blew my mind anyway so even if it was exactly the same performance down to the last word I'd still be excited. Nobody does Shakespeare like Propeller; even my dad liked their performance of Twelfth. It's going to be a day of English grad fabulousness beyond words.

And then, THEN, I had a moment of utter insanity in work when my colleague was buying his Beyonce tickets (don't even ask) and I paid £87 for a ticket to see Ben Whishaw and Judy Dench perform Peter and Alice in London on April 23rd. I'd been coveting it for a while but just getting to London is expensive in these railcard-less days, nevermind staying over but... Ben Whishaw and Judy Dench in a play about the real life Peter Pan and Alice in Wonderland; if someone had designed a play for me, they couldn't have come up with something more utterly perfect as a concept than that. You can read more about it here and there's still tickets available, especially if you can get to the theatre at 10:30am and do the raffle for a £10 ticket (I did it for Much Ado About Nothing in 2011 and sat in the third row. It's an amazing idea).

It still doesn't feel quite real that I'm actually going but I am and just, oh my god. Even if I don't manage another blog post until then, that'll definitely get one. Probably just composed of the word SQUEE c&p over and over. (Dear Universe, please don't let either of them be ill. Please?)

Aaaaaaaand now it's 10:37pm and this has officially taken me over three hours and an episode of Arrow (oh show, show, you ridiculous show with Felicity the Genius Tech Girl who ROCKS, probably because she's the only one who isn't emotionally damaged IN THE ENTIRE CITY where it's set, seriously). I have work tomorrow and while it's pretty calm in my office with my co-worker on leave this week, it also means double the work. Alas. Still, it's paying for my tickets to Plays of Awesome and apparently every major movie that's coming out in 2013 so I guess I can suck it up.

In conclusion: let's all post more so I can stop sadfacing at my LJ every day, and I'll try to stick to that advice too. Hopefully.
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