So. The '"'Golden Compass that is not gold or, indeed, a compass but Hollywood is thick"-post.

[clo_again]

I went in expecting nothing. I got less than that. I really did.

Because it's crap. It's terrible. They raced through the first half of the film but fine, they got it all right and it was pretty, so I assumed they needed to get through it that fast to give themselves time for Bolvanger and Svalbard. When Iorek went crashing out to get his armour back, I even had a startled moment where I realised how much I was enjoying that whole scene.

And then they ruined it. They took their Hollywood heads, decided that they knew better than the author - something they'd already done, spectacularly stupidly, with the title - and changed the entire second half. Suddenly Svalbard's not an island anymore - WHICH IT WAS BECAUSE SHE POINTED TO IT ON THE FREAKING MAP EARLIER - it's the entire north and she can get there by sledge. Suddenly she knows exactly how to get out of Bolvanger even though she's been there thirty seconds. Suddenly sentimental tacky crap music is playing and it's the end with all fuzzy happiness and Lyra falling asleep with a still alive Roger. It's crap. Utter, utter bollocks because they just missed the point of the book entirely. Lyra went all that way to recuse Roger, only to find they she'd betrayed him. That was the point.

Sentimental Hollywood crap. Even the soundtrack was nondescript and tacky. It's heartbreaking when the girl who played Lyra was superb and a spectacular bit of casting. They had everything they needed and they managed to cock it up by being utterly, completely clueless. Idiots.

I didn't think I could be when I expected it to be terrible but it wasn't even good enough for that. I'm so disappointed. :(



A bright spot was the trailer for Inkheart, which I haven't read but am now planning to because the movie has both Brendan Fraser and Paul Bettany in it. Plus the special effects looked beautiful. I had no idea they were making it into a film but it looks awesome and went some way towards making up for the disappointment of Compass Northern Lights because at least there are other fantasy movies coming up that look worth the price of the ticket.

Comments

[nilhenwen.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, Inkheart. I read it when I was fangirling over Paul Bettany a while back. It's quite good. Tried out for the main part but I haven't seen the trailer yet. I admit, I didn't read your whole post 'cause I only read half of the book and kind of got slightly bored and I'm going to see it sometime over christmas. I heard it was another "Chronicles of Narnia" disaster. Which did you hear they're making another one? "Prince Caspian this time!? It wouldn't EVER do for Hollywood to work in order OR keep the names of the things the same... that just wouldn't be RIGHT! *eyeroll*