I'm torn...

I started to rewrite Justification as original, with a different format and themes for CW, then realised I was wandering further and further away from the point and simply stuck to the original, changing names and some sentences I didn't like, breaking up the paragraphs and generally editing it... then it ocurred to me this is essentially a high R/NC-17 piece and I'm thinking of submitting it to my seminar group for dissection?! Am I insane?!!

I've read high-rated slash for so long now I forget it still shocks people. I forget not everyone reacts to it like I do and that it's not as generally accepted as I'd like to think. I forget that there are people out there who've never heard of it and would never want to.

So now I'm torn. I was planning on re-writing Dreams of Silk for next time then writing the sequel to it - FINALLY - and killing two birds with one stone. And that's good; sweet PG-13 rating with fantasy elements and minor angst and a nice, 'acceptable' het pairing. I really want to save that for next time; I want to end before Christmas on that sequel with a happy note at the end. But I'm suddenly hesitant of submitting Justification (now renamed Close My Eyes). It's not hugely graphic, hell it's probably just an R (I think that's what I originally rated it) but... will my seminar group handle it? One of the poets of the group - the supercilious guy who pretty much knows what he's doing when it comes to poetry - wrote what I guess would be R rated poetry last week and submitted it and no one freaked or got hugely embarrassed. Would they handle it? Is it even appropriate? I don't know.

I'm gonna print it out and get one of my group's opinion tomorrow in the lecture; I mentioned what I was thinking of writing last week so she knows what to expect. I'll get her opinion and maybe a couple of my flatmates. I really don't have time to work on anything original now, although it's entirely possible I could do it, if I got no sleep between now and Wednesday and finished my essay first.

Essay. Only 989 words left to go! Joy. -_-

I'm gonna get some sleep now. I have an essay to write tomorrow and CW decisions to make. 4am is no time to do such things.

Clo

EDIT: Well one flatmate read it (yes more of us than just me are still awake at 5am) and approved, though she admited she's not a writer so she wouldn't like to say how my seminar group will react. But it was a yea vote. I'll get Laura's opinion tomorrow. Hell I'm going to freak my seminar group out sooner or later, I may as well do it sooner.

*cries bitterly*

I basically just hung up on mercury32... and didn't realise what I'd done till I'd put the phone down.

HEAD. MEET DESK.

*grovels* Merc you would not believe how sorry I am. It just didn't *click* what was going on; I'm amazed I even remembered how to use the phone in that state. Am so very, hugely, immensely sorry.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST DID THAT.

Oh. Oh god. Why do I get the feeling I will never ever live this down? I'm so sorry Merc. I owe you huge big time brownie points if you still speak to me after this. And I can't even ring you back which is like... DAMMIT.

A sleep deprived clo should never be allowed to communicate - or not as in this case - in future.

Going to go curl up and die now.

*creeps shamefully away*

EDIT: I have never ever wanted to be able to ring someone back so much. Oh... dammit.*tries thought vibes* RING ME BACK MERC. Please?