And all of the ghouls come out to play.

[clo_again]

I don't know if it's because I love Emilia Fox too much to let her go from Merlin that easily but I literally cannot shake the thought that both Morgause and Lancelot sacrificed themselves willingly in the same spot, for polar opposite reasons of course but they were willing sacrifices and thought they were doing what was best for the ones they loved, which pretty much cuts through all the good and evil because that's just shading anyway. Basically, they're the same and they have to deserve something other than becoming nameless, bodiless ghouls in the realms of the dead because hey, willing sacrifices.

All of which adds up in my mind to this image of them sitting in a faceless grey Purgatorial waiting room together for a very long time and at first Morgause won't speak to Lancelot becase he's ruined her great gesture for Morgana but forever is an awful long time to keep sulking and Lancelot is never one to be rude to a lady, so he'll let her bitter, sarcastic taunts slide off his lonely (I Freudian-slip-typed that as 'lovely') polite patience until, only a decade or so in, she snaps and slams him up against the faceless grey wall but they both know they're already dead and he just waits her temper out before suggesting I don't know, a century-long game of poker (this is Merlin; historical accuracy stretches to include not-yet-invented card games, probably) and Morgause has only won several hypothetical fortunes off him (he's far too noble to cheat and she's far too unprincipled not to take advantage) and they can recite the details of each other's families back three generations and they accidentally know each other's favourite colours and what they secretly wanted to grow up to be (Morgause wanted to breed winged horses, Lancelot wanted to be a Knight and she laughs at him for being predictable but a year later she lets slip that she named a horse Morgana gave her Pegasus) before Morgause gets frustrated enough to try breaking down the walls with magic.

She makes it as far as a crack and no further, until Lancelot breaks it down a la tv-policeofficer-breaking-down-a-door style in a combination of magic and brute strength and they find themselves in the realms of the dead with only each other to rely on as they look for the way out, which makes them pretty fucking inseperable by the time they manage to swim the river because they can't afford to pay the ferryman and find themselves back on the Isle of the Blessed in the first winter snow courtesy of the Cailleach because every willing sacrifice has the right to earn their way back to life but hardly anyone's done it ever and she's not above a sneaky litle revenge trick. And for all that Morgause wants to magically teleport herself away, she barely considers leaving Lancelot to freeze to death before she tells herself that he's saved her life - er, immortal soul? - more times than she can count (they kept a running score up to about a hundred each but after that it started to seem like a moot point) and besides, she's got used to his stupid pretty smile after a few centuries of staring at it and she'd miss it. Besides, it's been a few centuries and neither of them think anyone they knew will still be alive, so they make a fire for warmth and huddle together because they haven't had to worry about things like cold for a long time so it's kind of a novelty to share body heat.

And it's absolutely Morgause who kisses first but Lancelot's not stupid, he gets with the programme pretty quick now that they're alive again and if in the morning he wakes to find Morgause already dressed and summoning the boat off the Isle, calling him to hurry up as if nothing had ever happened, he's known her centuries and he smiles at her as he sits across from her in the boat and she doesn't smile back, but she didn't leave him alone to freeze to death either and by now he knows it means the same thing.

And then they walk back to Camelot because they have no idea where else to go, keeping each other alive out of ancient habit now and by the time they reach the city walls they're so cold and tired and convinced they're hundreds of years out of their time that they walk right into the Great Hall because the corridors are weirdly empty and find Arthur and Gwen standing together in front of the thrones in their very best finery with Merlin and all the Knights and court looking on with sappily happy expressions turning to confusion and Geoffrey of Monmouth's mouth still open on the ancient version of "You can kiss the bride, Sire,", only now everyone's staring at Lancelot and Morgause, covered in snow and possibly caught holding hands and realising, very very quickly, that time in the realms of the dead moves differently.

And then all hell breaks loose. But I expect it all ends happily or some vague shade of happy, probably via a trip to the dungeons where Morgause broods bitterly about going through all that just to end up back in a faceless grey cell again, until Lancelot suggests poker and she points out that they're alive now, he'll actually have to pay her the not-so-hypothetical fortunes she'll win and he say well, she could always teach him to cheat better and she smiles before she remembers not to, and then it dawns that they broke out of a cell in freaking Purgatory, stones and mortar should be kind of a pushover, and Lancelot says Stay but Morgause says go and when Merlin comes running to see what the surge of magic was all about there's just Lancelot, staring at a hole where the wall used to be and looking kind of lost.

Lancelot gets re-Knighted and he stays in Camelot for a while, because it's supposed to feel like home but he keeps getting distracted by things like breathing and papercuts and the way everyone looks at him as if he's about to die at any second, and even Merlin doesn't understand really because he's very busy dealing with Arthur becoming King and the slow process of magic being legalised and one morning, very early, with Spring unfurling in the trees Lancelot can see from his window, he wakes to find Morgause standing at the foot of his bed and saying is this what you want? and he doesn't have to think before he says not anymore.

He writes a note for Gwen and they walk out the castle hand-in-hand, no one seeing them and they keep walking, keeping each other alive.

And maybe they breed winged horses along the way. Just because they can.



~

There, brain. Now stop thinking about it.

Comments

[rionaleonhart]

WELL, THIS IS AMAZING. I love your brain.

[clo.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D My brain was extremely insistent that Morgause/Lancelot stuck together for eternity would be awesome and deserved writing down before I got distracted by new shiny things. I just wish I had the attention span to make it a proper fic.