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clo_againAm laziest person alive. Possibly this goes without saying due to English studentness (bitter that I can only use that excuse for another month, bah... though the alternative is having to resit this year and really, a month sounds good) but lately I have reached new heights - or lows - of idleness. Like, getting up this morning at eleven to watch Countryfile the going back to bed. Until 2pm. There is no logical explanation for this, other than... no, no logic. English student logic perhaps.
More terrible is that I saw PotC3 way back on Friday and Doctor Who last night was one of the best ever and I've yet to rant/squee/ramble about any of it. Shock, horror. I'm only doing it now because I'm too lazy to go make lunch. I also want to go check my post to see if Farscape's here yet but A said someone puked up on the stairs (first time in three years but really drunk people, it still makes me hate you). Problem: cleaners don't come until tomorrow. Disgust warring against Farscape need. It's now that I really regret our lack of fire escapes.
But
I've half-forgotten it by now, which is probably some indication of it as a film or my memory as a lazy student but it wasn't anything like as bad as I was expecting. I loved some of the travelling to World's End, through all the ice; it looked very LotR-esque and was just beautiful. Davy Jones' Locker itself was a disappointment, even with the added bizarrity points of rock crabs moving a ship. God, someone was on crack the day they wrote that. It just seemed like they dropped the ball (or ran out of money with all the Jacks) after the stunning visual effects of the trip there.
That said, *rocks that are crabs*.
They ruined Jack. I'm sorry, that's just my opinion and it may be a little harsh but they ruined Jack. The marvellous thing about the other films and the thing they tried to make marvellous about this film with all the "Do you think he makes it up as he goes along?"s was that we had no idea what was going on in Jack's head. That we didn't know if he was crazy or half-crazy and drunk or just too clever for his own balance was what made him mysterious. Having him talk to mini-Jacks on his shoulders? Not mysterious. Dumb. Jay and Silent Bob... can do it because they make it a joke; PotC you, to some extent, are meant to be somewhat more serious. (Yes, undead pirates. Yes, a parrot that speaks for someone. Yes, jokes about corsets and a fight on a giant rolling wheel. *Still* more serious than the true, slapsticky-crazy-cussin-filled world of true comedy.) Giving us a look inside Jack's head was a terrible move for me, added to which it slowed down a film that really didn't need slowing down anymore. It made him silly rather than anything to admire or fear. I would've liked to see him go the more sinister route, easily done given that Elizabeth killed him and Will betrayed him, so his turnabout at the end in giving the heart to Will was more... not a surprise but more meaningful.
Not that it wasn't totally unmeaningful, because it was probably some of my favourite few minutes of the movie (...not sure what that says about the rest). Especially when Miko and A were both hiding behind their hands making muffled noises of shock at them killing Orlando Bloom. I failed in my quest to remain unspoilered, so I was just counting down the seconds until he reappeared and I *still* liked it. Not because Orlando Bloom looked super-pretty as a supernatural pirate captain. Okay maybe a little bit (he looks very pretty okay?!) but because even when you knew it was coming, it was still interesting to watch and when predictability is interesting, it must be pretty damn good.
Elizabeth/Keira Knightly annoyed me. I don't know why since I liked the direction she was headed in in DMC. There was just something about the acting or the script in this one that irked me somewhat. I'd have to see it again to pin it down and I'm not (a) *that* bored and (b) can't afford more cinema tickets. It did bug me that they took the opportunity to show off her legs in the first few scenes. Yes, whatever. Found it quite hilarious that she got to be Pirate King though. I was hoping that's what she'd be doing in the ten years until Will could come back.
In breakdown (because I'm hungry now and want lunch):
Five Things I Absoutely Hated:
> CALYPSO WAS IN NO WAY GODDESS OF THE SEA. Even *I* knew that and Cypriot A was even more confused. You utter, utter morons. 'nuff said.
> Jack not getting the Pearl at the end. WHAT. THE. FUCK? THAT WAS THE ENTIRE REASON THE MOVIES STARTED. YOU UTTER UTTER UTTER MORONS.
*deep breathing* Morons. Yes. Bastards? Oh yes. Sucking Disney's cock (and oh that is suddenly a gross image with Mickey Mouse ears on top) in order to make a fourth one which the francise doesn't need and will ruin it even more because YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE A GOOD THING ALONE? Probably.
> It *in no way being explained* how the whole Will/Elizabeth thing was meant to work from now on. I've heard Will only had to serve the ten years and he'd be free but no, *that was not in the movie*. Basically the impression we got was that Will was stuck serving as captain of the Dutchman forever and would get only one day every ten years with Elizabeth, which makes for a pretty sucky relationship if you ask me. Also Elizabeth sitting around ten years bringing up a kid and being generally useless? No. Just- no. You couldn't have kept her as a pirate captain for those ten years and shown that in the tiny pathetic scene we waited through ten minutes of credits for?
> Jack. JackJackJackJackJack. You get the picture.
Oh and another one: killing Norrington like that? Um. WTF? You remember the first movie? Where he was a huge character? You know, the first movie that in no way sucked?
Five Things I Liked:
> Barbossa and Jack being all testosterony with each other. Much hilarity.
> Pintel and Ragetti, especially Ragetti with Tia Dalma and his eye being the piece of eight because *how often has he almost lost that?* Heh.
> The dead kraken. That whole scene. I thought it was an incredibly moving comment on the world becoming less of a wonderful place. Less dangerous but less wonderful. Of course the movie went on to prove that by being more crap than the first two, which probably wasn't what they meant to imply...
> Elizabeth as Pirate King. Her being pirate-y was the only time I liked her in this film. Her 'inspiring' speech was a little "eh" but she made a pretty cool pirate in the beautiful Asian clothes.
> Um.... struggling here. The trip to World's End.
Am I alone in thinking Orlando Bloom took several steps backwards acting-wise in this movie? He was actually gaining expressions film by film but he was right back to Legolas' state-the-obvious-lines-like-a-wooden-block in this. Even being pretty can't carry him forever.
Since starting this entry I have: hung out with Miko and A, measured our height, chest and head sizes for graduation robes, discussed any possible ways of getting to London for the Hot Fuzz thing this Sunday with Miko, got a present of a Japanese purse and shown them all three Cake Flushings (they both shrieked when Nick stuck hishead* hand in the loo on the third one.) Possibly I'm not lazy; I just get *really really distracted*. Which means Doctor Who can wait until I'm not swooning from my chair with hunger. *mock drama*
Using this icon because I want to. And because I spent way too long Youtubing the three of them last night and the happy warm fuzzies that always gives me hasn't worn off yet.
edit: Two days later I just realised that I typed 'head' instead of 'hand' and no one called me on it. Fail, flist. Total fail. ;)
More terrible is that I saw PotC3 way back on Friday and Doctor Who last night was one of the best ever and I've yet to rant/squee/ramble about any of it. Shock, horror. I'm only doing it now because I'm too lazy to go make lunch. I also want to go check my post to see if Farscape's here yet but A said someone puked up on the stairs (first time in three years but really drunk people, it still makes me hate you). Problem: cleaners don't come until tomorrow. Disgust warring against Farscape need. It's now that I really regret our lack of fire escapes.
But
I've half-forgotten it by now, which is probably some indication of it as a film or my memory as a lazy student but it wasn't anything like as bad as I was expecting. I loved some of the travelling to World's End, through all the ice; it looked very LotR-esque and was just beautiful. Davy Jones' Locker itself was a disappointment, even with the added bizarrity points of rock crabs moving a ship. God, someone was on crack the day they wrote that. It just seemed like they dropped the ball (or ran out of money with all the Jacks) after the stunning visual effects of the trip there.
That said, *rocks that are crabs*.
They ruined Jack. I'm sorry, that's just my opinion and it may be a little harsh but they ruined Jack. The marvellous thing about the other films and the thing they tried to make marvellous about this film with all the "Do you think he makes it up as he goes along?"s was that we had no idea what was going on in Jack's head. That we didn't know if he was crazy or half-crazy and drunk or just too clever for his own balance was what made him mysterious. Having him talk to mini-Jacks on his shoulders? Not mysterious. Dumb. Jay and Silent Bob... can do it because they make it a joke; PotC you, to some extent, are meant to be somewhat more serious. (Yes, undead pirates. Yes, a parrot that speaks for someone. Yes, jokes about corsets and a fight on a giant rolling wheel. *Still* more serious than the true, slapsticky-crazy-cussin-filled world of true comedy.) Giving us a look inside Jack's head was a terrible move for me, added to which it slowed down a film that really didn't need slowing down anymore. It made him silly rather than anything to admire or fear. I would've liked to see him go the more sinister route, easily done given that Elizabeth killed him and Will betrayed him, so his turnabout at the end in giving the heart to Will was more... not a surprise but more meaningful.
Not that it wasn't totally unmeaningful, because it was probably some of my favourite few minutes of the movie (...not sure what that says about the rest). Especially when Miko and A were both hiding behind their hands making muffled noises of shock at them killing Orlando Bloom. I failed in my quest to remain unspoilered, so I was just counting down the seconds until he reappeared and I *still* liked it. Not because Orlando Bloom looked super-pretty as a supernatural pirate captain. Okay maybe a little bit (he looks very pretty okay?!) but because even when you knew it was coming, it was still interesting to watch and when predictability is interesting, it must be pretty damn good.
Elizabeth/Keira Knightly annoyed me. I don't know why since I liked the direction she was headed in in DMC. There was just something about the acting or the script in this one that irked me somewhat. I'd have to see it again to pin it down and I'm not (a) *that* bored and (b) can't afford more cinema tickets. It did bug me that they took the opportunity to show off her legs in the first few scenes. Yes, whatever. Found it quite hilarious that she got to be Pirate King though. I was hoping that's what she'd be doing in the ten years until Will could come back.
In breakdown (because I'm hungry now and want lunch):
Five Things I Absoutely Hated:
> CALYPSO WAS IN NO WAY GODDESS OF THE SEA. Even *I* knew that and Cypriot A was even more confused. You utter, utter morons. 'nuff said.
> Jack not getting the Pearl at the end. WHAT. THE. FUCK? THAT WAS THE ENTIRE REASON THE MOVIES STARTED. YOU UTTER UTTER UTTER MORONS.
*deep breathing* Morons. Yes. Bastards? Oh yes. Sucking Disney's cock (and oh that is suddenly a gross image with Mickey Mouse ears on top) in order to make a fourth one which the francise doesn't need and will ruin it even more because YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE A GOOD THING ALONE? Probably.
> It *in no way being explained* how the whole Will/Elizabeth thing was meant to work from now on. I've heard Will only had to serve the ten years and he'd be free but no, *that was not in the movie*. Basically the impression we got was that Will was stuck serving as captain of the Dutchman forever and would get only one day every ten years with Elizabeth, which makes for a pretty sucky relationship if you ask me. Also Elizabeth sitting around ten years bringing up a kid and being generally useless? No. Just- no. You couldn't have kept her as a pirate captain for those ten years and shown that in the tiny pathetic scene we waited through ten minutes of credits for?
> Jack. JackJackJackJackJack. You get the picture.
Oh and another one: killing Norrington like that? Um. WTF? You remember the first movie? Where he was a huge character? You know, the first movie that in no way sucked?
Five Things I Liked:
> Barbossa and Jack being all testosterony with each other. Much hilarity.
> Pintel and Ragetti, especially Ragetti with Tia Dalma and his eye being the piece of eight because *how often has he almost lost that?* Heh.
> The dead kraken. That whole scene. I thought it was an incredibly moving comment on the world becoming less of a wonderful place. Less dangerous but less wonderful. Of course the movie went on to prove that by being more crap than the first two, which probably wasn't what they meant to imply...
> Elizabeth as Pirate King. Her being pirate-y was the only time I liked her in this film. Her 'inspiring' speech was a little "eh" but she made a pretty cool pirate in the beautiful Asian clothes.
> Um.... struggling here. The trip to World's End.
Am I alone in thinking Orlando Bloom took several steps backwards acting-wise in this movie? He was actually gaining expressions film by film but he was right back to Legolas' state-the-obvious-lines-like-a-wooden-block in this. Even being pretty can't carry him forever.
Since starting this entry I have: hung out with Miko and A, measured our height, chest and head sizes for graduation robes, discussed any possible ways of getting to London for the Hot Fuzz thing this Sunday with Miko, got a present of a Japanese purse and shown them all three Cake Flushings (they both shrieked when Nick stuck his
Using this icon because I want to. And because I spent way too long Youtubing the three of them last night and the happy warm fuzzies that always gives me hasn't worn off yet.
edit: Two days later I just realised that I typed 'head' instead of 'hand' and no one called me on it. Fail, flist. Total fail. ;)
