Oh holy fuck.

[clo_again]

Having just consulted the back of my hand - my notebook when I'm too lazy to find paper - and found the words 'BIN' and 'POTS' written across it in Biro, I remembered I was meant to put the bin out front for the binmen tomorrow and water the woman's flower pots on the patio. So, thinking I should do it before I forget - and so I didn't end up doing it at two in the morning - I dutifully put the bin by the gates and went out back, turned the hose pipe on and started watering flowers. About three pots in I noticed a bug on the floor by the door - now it is very important to keep in mind that in general here, we just don't get bugs bigger than say a penny, but this bug was a good inch, inch and a half long, lying on its back and kicking its legs. So, with much terrified squeaking - spiders, rats, snakes, I'm fine, anything even remotely cockroach shaped = me a gibbering mess and this thing looked very cockroach-esque - I found a plastic jug to put over it and crouched down for a look, safe in the knowledge it was under the jug and couldn't get to me.

Until something, very big by our standards, buzzed loudly past my ear.

I'm waiting for a call from the neighbours because I literally screamed my head off and ran as fast as I could down the garden. Anyone listening to me would've thought I was being murdered. I hate things buzzing in my ear. The amount of times I fall out of bed in the summer when a wasp gets in my room... anyway, there were at least TWO more of these big buzzy things that I could see, most definitely not safely confined under jugs and that was it. Screw the plants and I'm very glad I did the bin first because there's no way you're getting my outside this house again tonight. I have no idea what they are and I don't care; I'm not going near them. They are fucking *huge* by British standards. Oh fuck, that scared the hell out of me. I'm still twitching every time I see something out the corner of my eye. Oh man.

*deep breath* Okay, I really need to calm down now. Just bugs. Nothing to worry about.

*twitches*

Clo

P.S. Fic soon. And I know I've been saying that all weekend but this time I mean it. Just mid-smut and all is almost done.

Comments

[mina-pak.livejournal.com]

I don't think you could ever live in south Texas then. Cockroaches are abundant and can get to be two inches long at times. My (half) sister, who has been living in Ohio and California and only recently returned to Texas, still screams everytime she sees one and drags me to go kill them.

[e-goddess.livejournal.com]

You poor thing. You were lucky to survive. *snickers*

[squishy-monkey.livejournal.com]

you ever see that film where the bugs escaped the lab and turned into human-sized things that looked like us to help them survive etc? then they started killing people. well im sure your bugs have nothin in common with them :P hehe. sorry hel:)

we need to catch up in the summer dudett! u at home now?

[scoobydumblonde.livejournal.com]

*hugs* *hands you a huge can of Raid* Kills bugs dead! *nods* *tries not to giggle*

[clo.livejournal.com]

*hides under the desk* Oh god, two inch long cockroaches? :-/ Definitely not a place for me.

[clo.livejournal.com]

*nods* It was very traumatic! I could've been eaten by beetles! *giggles*

[clo.livejournal.com]

NOT. HELPFUL. *pokes you* ;-) Trying to freak me out, so not fair...

We do and I am indeed! Well, for a week or so, just while the 'rents are away.

[clo.livejournal.com]

*snuggles back* They're just so evil. *joins in the shuddering*

[clo.livejournal.com]

*hugs back* YAY!! See, we so rarely get bugs that need spraying, we never buy bug spray. I don't think I've *ever* bought bug spray.

*runs outside brandishing the can of Raid* MWAHAHA! Who's laughing now bugs?!

*grins* Am crazee! Yay!

[scoobydumblonde.livejournal.com]

*giggles* You'd hate America. Land of the big ass bugs. *nods*

*falls over laughing*

Ya think?? ;-D