A message of 'You will survive if you believe you can!' IS STILL WORRYING,

Things That Are Bad to Watch a Week Before You Go On a Twenty-Plus Hour Flight:

'How to Survive A Disaster' programs that show you cheerful computer simulations of people burning to death in plane crashes. Holy fricking crap I couldn't have picked a worse show. BBC I really hate you.

But I can't stop watching. Because it's how to survive. So far it's told me to prepare so I don't waste time doing things over, accept the tunnel vision as A Good Thing and whatever happens, if your plane has crash-landed do not stop to take your luggage from the overhead racks which jesus, seems ridiculous to me but how do you know it doesn't seem entirely reasonable until the moment before you are dead?

I want crisis training. Preferably this week.

(It can also stop freaking me out about the Tube because I've finally reached the point where I can hop on and off the Tube and not freak when the lights flicker. I still give the gap wide berth but that's Neverwhere's fault and I'm generally more happy to accept lasting Neil Gaiman trauma than any other type. Which doesn't mean that I don't treat strange black cats with slightly more friendliness than cats of other colours and regard anyone with a day for a name with suspicion.)

...

Things That Are Soul-Balm to Watch After Watching Horrible Ways You Go Die If You're Not Quick Enough: the episode of Stargate SG-1 when Vala forgets who she is and cuffs Mitchell naked to a bed. NghBenBrowder'sbarechest. She's feeding him Twinkies. Clearly Sky gets the naked-goodness with Twinkies on top while BBC gets HORRIBLE WAYS YOU COULD DIE EVERYDAY.

...Note to self; if you ever become obscenely rich, sponsor Sky to reorganise the BBC.

(I miss my DON'T PANIC icon.)